-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It's been one hell of a weekend. Mostly it was hell.
It was worse than screwing a 900 year old gorilla.
I lost my match against NYP on friday. The good part was that SP won 3-2 (The gals won 4-1). But since I've already mentioned that it was a hellish weekend.. Lets all mourn over my tragic lost. Everybody. Together now...
"Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound, that save a wretch like me (Goes severly off-tune)..."
I was pretty pissed at myself and the whole team had to render their condolences.. I mean console me to calm me down. That was a night match.
The following morning, our school had to play a postponed match against NP. That we disastrously lost 5-0 (Guys and gals team). I was rested for that match so it was good.
Our team had lunch at "Ding Tai Fung" and I decided to try their Mango Pudding. It was deliciously sweet, bloody brilliant stuff. But you know as the phase goes, "Never judge a book by its cover."
In this case, never judge a mango pudding by its cover. I largely suspect my fever of 41.4 degrees, diahorrea and constant vomitting the following 36 hours was due to this deadly mango pudding (AND NOTHING 2 DO WITH THE FACT THAT I WAS SICK AND STILL CONSUMED LARGE QUANTITIES OF ALCOHOL...). Such sweet delicacy yet so deadly. JUST LIKE GIRLS. Hahahahaha.
Oh yes and I would like to say this. As you can see from the picture that this is such a beauty. It is the ultimate beauty a guy can own. Petite, Pretty, Hot, Slim, etc. In other words A PERFECT 10.
(For those who can't see it like Nic as I tested it on her. This beauty is a mini cooper.)
How unfortunate that the guy who owned this beauty was such an ignorant prick. He actually parked his beauty right infront of the staff entrance of MY hotel (yes people. MY hotel. It's all mine!). How do you expect people to get out?!?! What if there was fire! The beauty will be trampled upon like a stampede of elephants over Cody.
Lets continue our discussion on ignorant people. There's this security guard in MY hotel who asked my NP friends (Who are from the dragonboat team), "What is that?!" (--> Pointing to the paddle) Like hello... It's a paddle. DUH! What you think it is? An exqusite piece of fertitilty god or perhaps a sculpture!?!?!
And he followed a stupid question with a stupider question.."Why did you bring it for!?" Gee I wonder why my friends brought it. Maybe it's cause they decide to become rebels and their choice of weapon was one single paddle to stuff it up that asshole of a security's ass.
But you can't blame him for being such a prick. After all, their boss is one of the biggest prick in the universe. He's like constantly screaming (Notice I said screaming...) at his staff yelling things like "Are you stupid or what?" when actually, he's a real life version of a walking pussy (No offence to cat lovers).
Ignorant people are aplenty in Singapore. Ok maybe the following scenario is not about an ignorant person. It's about a person who can't seem to understand the sign CLOSED. He was trying to top up his EZ link when the machine clearly spells out CLOSED. And he just kept trying to insert into all the available holes (No pun intended) and still can't figure out why. Which part of CLOSED could he not understand. I think it's the english part of CLOSED that he doesn't understand. And mind you.. This guy is neither "blind, illeterate nor senile".
Oh yes. I was in school and after having some "Fresh air", decided to wash up. And thus was inside the toilet that I found it mildly amusing they have this inside...
What do they expect us to forget? Our ding-a-ling, our thingy... haha.. ok I'm sorry. Just a joke.
Alright. Hell should be over. Oh wait. It's not. There's BD. Ok... Hell continues...
"Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn"
Au Revoir.
It's A Hard Knock Life
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
And so it seems. the first post was a success.
I feel like a man now. No longer a boy.... I'm finally
A MAN!!!!!!!!!!!! Roar!!!
(Apperently... If i put too much exclamation marks I was warned that I could potentially be debarred from blogging ever again. Do I look like I give a flying fuck? WAHAHA)
What a great last two days (if you think i'm being sincere. well u guessed wrong babe. I'm a guy. Guys are not sincere. We are DAMN FREAKING SINCERE! but we aren't sincere)
From now on. I shan't do my tutorials. Everytime I decide to be the clever, genious, intelligent, hardworking student that I am... I never make it for tutorials despite my brilliant dilligence in completing the tutorial. Instead, I always make it for tutorials when my alter-ego (--> U know.. the mini-Louis's running all over the place. Oh wad a thought...) over.
Yesterday when Nic called me, I tot who's this crazy woman calling me at 5.30am. Don't you know a PRINCE like me needs his sleep! And why has the sun risen so brightly. Its 5.30 in the morning. Isn't the sun supposed to awake at like 7am!?!?! To my complete delight. I realized it was actually 8.30am. Boy oh boy. Mrs. W must be going "Where's that NOTTI BOY again?!"... I proceeded to then take my own spicy time (--> Who says it must always be sweet? I like my time SPICY.. Sizzling hot!). Took a cab to school and the driver decides to take his own Spicy time too (Not with me. I'm too straight for that kinda shit). I mean is like i can even see the birds flying faster than the cab (Not that cabs can fly.. Wad kinda world u think we live in? Hogwarts?)
It was competition day. But I didn't play not bcoz I wasn't selected but because of the rain. Postponed till Saturday. Damn it. I was scheduled to play the most pressured position, the 3rd and final singles. The weather must be playing with us.. maybe I should ask Nic since she did "Understanding weather..." Mayb she can tell me why rain is called rain and why clouds are called clouds.
I remembered singing (Yes people. I can sing. I can hold a tune without sounding like a crossbreed of crows, toads and Jack.. Oops did I say Jack? I meant the Jackal)... "Rain rain go away, come again another day... Little Louis wans to play (Play ... hmmmm... play with who?! Muhaha. More importantly. Play WHAT!) Rain rain go away..." Apperently it didn't quite work coz right after I finished, it rained heavier and lightning strikes tripled.
That reminded me of the song... "Row row row your boat, gently down the stream. If you see a croccodile. Don't forget to scream! AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRHHHHH!" I know what Huda will say. "What nonsence!" oh wait. That sounds more like Nic.
Anyhow. It's Aunty Wong-Ka's class now. She.. I mean he is being a prick as usual. So I shall come back later and spread my nonsence to the world!
Ciao!
I don't give a flying cow... 10:36 PM
My dirty little secret
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Alrite people. I've got a dirty little shameful secret to share.
Today, i did it for the first time. I was damn nervous.
I just gave in to temptation, the urge was too strong.
My heart said "No! Don't do it..." but the rest of the body was like "Be a man! Just do it baby!" Now I'm curiously afraid I didn't meet up to expectations.
Everything happened so fast I only remember feeling sticky and tired at the end.
I could hardly even hear myself!
Well all I can say now is that it was a pleasurable experience.
Painless and unregrettable.
At least I can now hold my head high and say,
I'm no longer a virgin...
BLOGGER!
You asses. What were you sick, perverted people thinking about?
Ok anyhow... I've got to roll out the Red carpet and thank Jack for doin such a damn fine job creating this whole thing for me.
Do I have any expectations for this blog? (Woah sounds like I'm filling in a job interview... "What expectations do you have for this company," --> Get paid! Duh... Show me the money baby! WOOOOO!!!) Ok yeah ... Nah. I'm just doin this for fun.
Unless of course I become famous just by blogging and become an instant celebrity by doin nothing. I don't even have to flaunt my ass.. i mean assets. Can you imagine all the fame and fortune (Ka-CHING! --> For u dense people out that. "ka-ching" is the sound of a cash register and not a place in Malaysia.) Gee i can just be like "Falling Snow" (Say it in Mandarin) and her fake eye lashes.
I think I can just retire by the age of like 25. Settle down with my model wife and our very own football team in a palace up in Bukit Timah Hill over looking all you commoners! (I'm sorry but its the highest point in Singapore... Madness. Other countries have mountains and what do we have? Hills). MUHAHAHAH! Being served by maids in French dresses (Not the salad dressings idiots!). I shall train the maids to say "Your wish is my command Your Highness..." or "Yes your highness..."
Damn. Look at the time. I've been dreaming bout hilly assets and french maids that I forgot about doing ITFD. If I don't do.. I think i'll get the "Uh-uh" by Mrs. W...
Imagine..."Darren! U didnt do ur tutorial! Uh-uh you NOTTI boy. HeheHAHAhoohoo..."
Alriteys. A bit long winded for this virgin entry but I'll be back.
I don't give a flying cow... 9:59 AM
